

bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me
(Source: u-ltravi0lets, via pizza)
Sometimes, I wish I could ban my students from saying the word “gay” unless we’re specifically talking about homosexual people. Today one kid said that the ceiling was gay. Ceiling can’t be gay. Ceiling can’t even be straight. Ceiling is ceiling. Ceiling’s sexual preference is light bulb.
(via pizza)

Today I came across goats playing on a trampoline while I was driving around and it was the happiest thing I’ve ever seen.
(via pizza)
What if God was one of us? Just a stranger on a bus, masturbating violently.
fuck kind of bus do you ride